My Eyes Were Opened

Before we arrived in Haiti I was very nervous that I would get sick, either from bad water or because I’m pregnant.  I also feared that I would hold our group back by being nervous to do anything.  I didn’t want to get in the way of our mission.  During the week my fears subsided as God took care of all of my worries and since the best part of the trip was snuggling up with sweet children, I was perfect for the job.

When we showed up to the Gonaives orphanage, we were immediately greeted by huge smiles and hugs from children we’ve never seen before.  You could just see the love for Mike and Mandy when they got out of the car.  It was amazing!  Every person from our team had a child in his or her arms within seconds of getting out of the vehicle.  I had the pleasure of holding little Camelia, and she fell asleep within minutes.  She was a gorgeous little toddler, and her ability to run up into a strangers arm and fall asleep without any reservations was a beautiful display of our relationship with Christ.  That’s how He wants us to be with Him!  We should always know that we can run into our Savior’s arm and find comfort, love, and rest in Him.

Later in the week we went to Myan to spend some time with the people of the community and to pray over the future of the land.  Right when we got out of the truck this boy ran up to me and wanted me to hold him.  He had a tattered shirt on, but nothing else.  I noticed he was very thin, and he had sad yellow eyes.  He was like a walking zombie.  I held him, and when I would put him down he would cling to my legs.  I would rub his back or hold his hand because I could see that he was starving for touch.  The entire time I held him I was in a battle.  My worldly, selfish side was struggling to hold him because I was so worried about disease and sickness.  The other side of me was broken for the needs of this boy that weren’t being met.  I held him and stayed with him, all while fighting the part of me that wanted to put him down and walk away.  The next day, the Lord hit me with a deep sadness and conviction.  My eyes were opened to the boy’s heartache and the fact that I was sent to him to show him the true unconditional love of Christ.  I was sick at myself for not focusing all of my love and energy on the boy who needed it most from me that day.  He came to me knowing that something in me was able to fulfill some of the longing that he was craving.  This is the reason I went to Haiti, and I felt that I had failed in that moment.  I prayed and repented of my sin and asked God to one day give me a second chance to give that boy the love that he sought from me.  I’m so thankful for God’s forgiveness and the lesson I was taught that day, but my heart still breaks for the sad child that I struggled to give my heart to.  May it never be so again.

The trip was filled with emotion and a heavy presence of God.  I will definitely be going back to Haiti!  I can’t imagine a life without that option.  Most of the group that I went with is from New Braunfels and we are passionate about Coreluv’s mission.  Our desire is to raise funds and awareness here so that we can be part of what God is doing for the orphans in Haiti.  We are excited to see God move through us and are praying that more people will go answer the call to defend the orphan.

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